DawsonTimes

The County Commissioner
I been thinkin a lot about all the political shenanigans we been watchin lately, and it reminded me of old Dub Johnston when he ran for County Commissioner down here in Nankipooh. Now Dub had moved into Nankipooh about fifteen years before, when he bought old man Robertson's Feed and Grain. Dub was a likable man mainly cause he was the one always buyin the drinks, or pickin up the tab down at the cafe. In fact his favorite sayin was "I got money I ain't even spent yet"...
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The Nankipooh Enquirer - "The Shell Game"
When I was a young man a small carnival passed through Nankipooh, and we was all excited about things like havin a Gypsy tell our fortune, and getin to see an elephant. One of the things I remember most was a man with three walnut shells and a green pea, and for a quarter, you got to guess which shell the pea was under. Of course that's hard to do even if the game is honest, but if it ain't, then you got no chance at all...
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Professional Fools: The Nankipooh Enquirer
It sure has been fun sittin around down here in Nankipooh watchin the professional politicians make fools of themselves. This Presidential election has got to be just about the most confusin one this country, and Old Bascomb have ever seen. The Skunks and Polecats parties couldn't put on a better show, if they was P.T. Barnum and Mr. Baily themselves, with a whole tent full of clowns, which is of course is just another name for fools...
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Will Rogers and Politics
Back durin the Great Depression, when we was in really hard times, and the country was hurtin real bad, there was a man named Will Rogers who kept us all on balance by makin fun of some of the things that was hurtin us the most. One of his favorite subjects was the government, and if he was alive today, he sure would have a lot of ammunition to fire off at these rascals we got runnin things today...
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The Nankipooh Enquirer - "Preachin"
...Now her daddy being an educated man and all, fancied himself to know a bit about public speakin, him bein the school principal and all. It seems that the old preacher at the church they went to had a bad habit of not lookin at the congregation while he preached. Instead he usually stared at a patch of ceiling back behind them while he gave his sermon. Now after a few years of this, Pa, as I called my wife's daddy, got just about fed up with this, since the man's sermons were kinda borin anyhow. Now Pa was a man of action, so he decided that he would take that old preacher aside and teach him a little bit about talkin in public...
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"The Christmas Tree"
When I was a boy growin up on the old Biggers' farm in Nankipooh, we always cut a tree off of our land to use as a Christmas tree. Now we had lots of different trees to choose from, but we always had a cedar tree for our Christmas tree. One year when I was about fifteen, I had spotted a perfect tree up by the main road that was just the right shape and size, so I asked my Grandpa about cuttin it. He said no, since that he could see it from the house, he wanted it to stay there, and I should go further back in the woods behind the house and get one from back there...
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"The Supreme Court"
I once had the chance to sit in on a hearin before the Supreme Court of the United States of America, and I learned quite a few things that I didn't know. First I learned that there are nine of them, but all of them ain't awake at the same time. There was one who slept through the whole thing (ain't mentionin no names, but some call him CT). The second thing that I learned was that they ain't always polite to the folks speakin to them, cause they keep interuptin with one question after another, sometimes before the one in front of them has even had a chance to answer the first question. Course, I don't mind them bein in-polite much, since the ones standin in front of them is lawyers, and I ain't got much use for lawyers at all...
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The Nankipooh Enquirer - "The New Orleans"
My daddy used to talk about what a great man Mark Twain was, writin about the mighty Mississippi, and river boats, and all that stuff about Huckleberry Finn. Well it set me to thinkin about how all that got started, and here we are at the 200th anniversary of the first river boat down the Mississippi to New Orleans...
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The Scared Gene
I am not a scientist. As a student the periodic table was something I looked at periodically, like the night before a test. And the Bunson burner never held much fascination, except for the time my seventh grade teacher, Mrs. Shell, accidentally lit her hair on fire...
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The Nankipooh Enquirer: Bascomb takes a Stand
A lot of folks have been askin me where I stand on the issues, besides hatin all of the lyin Skunks and Polecats up in DC.  Well there are three big issues facin the country today...
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The Tea Party Immigration Coalition Responds to the Republican Presidential Debate
John Stahl, co-founder of the Tea Party Immigration Coalition, expressed his disappointment about the short amount of time allotted to the immigration issue at the debate on Thursday night. “The immigration issue is as critical to the future of our country as the national debt is,” Stahl said. “It is disappointing that this important issue was given only six minutes...
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The Nankipooh Enquirer: "Borrowin Money"
The other day I went down to the Nankipooh 1st Bank to see old Lem Barlow the head banker down there, about borrowin some extra money, to help get some more stock for the Nankipooh General Store.  Now, I been doin business with old Lem for about forty years now, and him and me has always got along just fine...
 
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The Nankipooh Enquirer: Hooray for the US Government
 Once again the government in trying to make you believe that they have done something to help the American People. But lets look at the facts...
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The Nankipooh Enquirer: Retirement
"My old mule Jenny just dropped dead in the traces while I was plowin out back of the house", he says. I guess it was time for her to "retire" he says. Now that started me thinkin about retirement, which ain't that far off for old Bascomb...
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100 Years Ago
In 1911 things was real different from what they are now, but a lotta things was pretty much the same. For instance, if you look at a couple of headlines from 1911, you see that folks was fightin over Libya just like they are today. Also in 1911 the U.S. Government was tryin to take some of the power away from the big oil companies, which they claim to have been doin for the last 100 years...
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Summer Politics from The Nankipooh Enquirer
It sure is hot down here in Nankipooh, what with the thermometer being ninety and above for about two months now.  That and all the hot air being put out by all these politicians lying about what they are gonna do if you was to elect them.  Of course the Republicans (Skunks) and the Democrats (Polecats) is raisin a big ruckus over the Presidential Election even though its more than a year and a half off...
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A Fundamental Disconnect on Ethics
The problem here is twofold. First, when the public sees the General Assembly trumpeting "ethics reform" but no prosecutions of well-publicized potential crimes, citizen confidence is eroded. Second, whether we are discussing criminal prosecutions or timely filing of campaign disclosures, enforcement is left to elected officials or state employess whose purse strings are held by elected officials...
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Libertarians Say Obama's Afghanistan Policy Is A Failure
President Obama's speech was disappointing, but not surprising. The withdrawals he announced are painfully inadequate. Obama's withdrawals, even if they are carried out as he described, will still leave about 70,000 American troops in Afghanistan...
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The Nankipooh Enquirer: Turtle Soup
Well, Grandma knew that Grandpa would never eat any turtle no matter how it was fixed...
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With All The Talk About “Transparency”, Medical Prices Are Still A Secret
Suppose you went into a grocery store, and found no prices on anything. You ask a clerk how much five pounds of potatoes would be, and he asks you whether you are 65 or older...
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When Government Usurps Responsibility, People Are More Likely To Abdicate
We hear much talk about preventive care, but nobody has defined it. From the content of the discussions, I deduce that what the health bureaucrats actually refer to would be better characterized as “early detection.” Early detection is what occurs when a physician finds a disease in its early stages ...
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The Libertarian Party - 20 Issues Trump Birth Certificate Circus
Instead of wasting so much ink on this birther story, the press should be giving a lot more attention to the many real disasters of the Obama administration...
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The Nankipooh Enquirer: The Catfish Hole
One day I was down at my catfish hole tryin to catch me some supper, and while I was fishin, I was dreamin up what I was havin for my supper. Fried catfish, fresh pole beans cooked with side-meat, sliced home grown tomatoes, grits and hoecakes. (Now some of you already know how I feel about hoecakes) I was fishin for supper, which is our evening meal, since we have our dinner at noon time...
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Mr. Ryan, We'll See You, and Raise You $2 Trillion
Rep. Paul Ryan has gotten some very important things right. First, $1 billion may be real money, but it's nothing compared to our federal deficit. We need to talk in terms of thousands of billions, i.e. trillions...
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The Nankipooh Enquirer: "Hoecake"
Cornbread was popular during the Civil War. It could be made into high-rising, fluffy loaves or simply fried for a fast meal. Or, it could be made into Hoecakes...
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The Statehouse is Ground Zero for the Tea Party Movement
The next critical stop in the Tea Party movement is not in Lexington or Concord. It's at the statehouse steps, according to Katharine DeBrecht, author and staff writer for the Tea Party Review. "Over the past two years Americans of all stripes frustrated with excessive taxation, out of control spending, bailouts and failed promises of a budget-busting stimulus, took to the streets, organized campaigns, and became first-time activists ...
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"BIRDS OF PREY"
The symbol for this great country has always been the American Bald Eagle. Everybody was for it back in the early days, except maybe for old Ben Franklin, who wanted it to be the American Wild Turkey. Well I was fishin down in the salt water for speckled trout some time back, and I saw something that made me kinda re-consider old Ben's point of view...
 
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Anti-tethering Ordinance Does Not Address the Problem
But offers our leaders an opportunity to review overall animal control ordinance...
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I support funding Buice Recreation Center
I am writing to voice my support of the recently approved Buice Recreation Center....
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I Am Scared of My Government
Before I start this column, I suggest you read my column I titled, “My Theory about Government Control” which appeared on February 24, 2009. It is almost imperative that you read that column to fully understand this column....
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